Growing Up into Motherhood with a New Life Lesson

I am not a writer and this blog hasn’t been touched in a long while. I’m mostly a digital memory maker through pictures on Facebook or Instagram these days.  But, today The Lord laid something on my heart pretty heavily. This isn’t even the first time. So, as I write, I’m going to be attempting to clearly communicate one of my biggest epiphanies on motherhood, or parenting really, as this most certainly applies to fathers as well. Even though you may know and live this already, I do believe it will also encourage you, the few of you who may read this, to take a deeper look into who you are made to be as a parent as well.

Books, blogs, Pinterest, online forums, Facebook groups, friends, family, just name it, and I’ve consulted it on parenting. Did you notice what I didn’t list? God’s Word! Prayer! Yes, I pray for my kids and even my parenting. Yes, I read His Word, although not regularly enough lately. But, I most often run to the quickest answers. However, by His grace, He is still drawing me in and calling me to seek Him.

I’ve been staying at home with my 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old for a year and a half now. It’s been a roller coaster of joy and frustration for me. The main reason for these ups and downs has been my own struggles and a huge process we call sanctification! Let’s just say I’ve screwed up a few (more like every single) days. I want to say that those above listed references have been wonderful in giving me great guidance. I’ve received great advice on discipline, creative play, and developmental milestones, helping my babies sleep, eat right, etc.

I even used things like that as well while I taught for 10 years. We often would say, “work smarter, not harder”. So, when someone had already made or invented a great resource for us to use in our own classroom, we copied it! Duh! That’s easy! But, I can remember it not always working out just the way I had expected or not the way the original person described. WHY?  What’s wrong with me that I couldn’t get my class to do just the same thing? And now, what’s wrong with me that those fabulous independent play ideas on Pinterest don’t immediately engage my children the same way?

I’ll finally insert my epiphany here: WE ARE UNIQUELY CREATED!!!! My children are not the same as my sister’s or my best friend’s or even ME! I am not the same parent as my sister, my best friends, or even my own incredible mother. My needs and gifts are different, as are my children’s.

Now what? Well, as I begin to flesh this should-be-obvious epiphany out, I begin with prayer. I’m asking God to show me who I am uniquely DESIGNED to be for my children. I’m also asking Him to show me who He has made my children to be. I am beginning to see that in our uniqueness lie our gifts. Those special gifts will make bringing Him glory a joy, though surely not without some trial. We, as believers, would all say that we know God has purpose in all things. So, there is a Sovereign design in pairing us with these tiny co-inheritors of His crown. I want to not take lightly the privilege it is to hold, love, dwell with, and raise these precious people. I want to obediently bring glory in this most important role in my life to our Creator.  So, through prayer, talking with my husband, and sharing life with our community of friends and church, I hope to begin to see what makes me unique. I want to dismiss the pressure to do exactly what someone else does, or better yet, the pressure of having my kids do exactly what someone else’s kids do.

Do I still need and benefit from “the village”? YES!!!! Definitely, YES! Do my children still need and benefit from them as well? Of course! Like I said in the beginning, I screw up daily! We need other examples and creative ideas and just simply put, each other. I just want to always remind myself that I cannot compare my family to the others as apples to apples. We are not that. We are unique. I can “work smarter” by learning from the many resources we have at our fingertips and in our relationships, but also by tweaking those ideas and advice to fit our family.  

So, my challenge to begin today is to SEEK the Lord and ask Him for guidance to know how I am uniquely created to mother Jon Loran, Evelyn, and Baby Boy on the way. What are their unique needs as well, since we know they differ even from each other? Then, I will LISTEN to Him as I pray, play with them, hold them, and even discipline them. I will not just copy a great idea (although I am certainly not counting recipes in this because I cannot tweak a recipe without making a disaster), but I will find out how it works for us in all areas of play, teaching, discipline, etc. May we gain the confidence IN CHRIST to be who He has made us to be!

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV