Growing Up into Motherhood with a New Life Lesson

I am not a writer and this blog hasn’t been touched in a long while. I’m mostly a digital memory maker through pictures on Facebook or Instagram these days.  But, today The Lord laid something on my heart pretty heavily. This isn’t even the first time. So, as I write, I’m going to be attempting to clearly communicate one of my biggest epiphanies on motherhood, or parenting really, as this most certainly applies to fathers as well. Even though you may know and live this already, I do believe it will also encourage you, the few of you who may read this, to take a deeper look into who you are made to be as a parent as well.

Books, blogs, Pinterest, online forums, Facebook groups, friends, family, just name it, and I’ve consulted it on parenting. Did you notice what I didn’t list? God’s Word! Prayer! Yes, I pray for my kids and even my parenting. Yes, I read His Word, although not regularly enough lately. But, I most often run to the quickest answers. However, by His grace, He is still drawing me in and calling me to seek Him.

I’ve been staying at home with my 3.5 year old and 1.5 year old for a year and a half now. It’s been a roller coaster of joy and frustration for me. The main reason for these ups and downs has been my own struggles and a huge process we call sanctification! Let’s just say I’ve screwed up a few (more like every single) days. I want to say that those above listed references have been wonderful in giving me great guidance. I’ve received great advice on discipline, creative play, and developmental milestones, helping my babies sleep, eat right, etc.

I even used things like that as well while I taught for 10 years. We often would say, “work smarter, not harder”. So, when someone had already made or invented a great resource for us to use in our own classroom, we copied it! Duh! That’s easy! But, I can remember it not always working out just the way I had expected or not the way the original person described. WHY?  What’s wrong with me that I couldn’t get my class to do just the same thing? And now, what’s wrong with me that those fabulous independent play ideas on Pinterest don’t immediately engage my children the same way?

I’ll finally insert my epiphany here: WE ARE UNIQUELY CREATED!!!! My children are not the same as my sister’s or my best friend’s or even ME! I am not the same parent as my sister, my best friends, or even my own incredible mother. My needs and gifts are different, as are my children’s.

Now what? Well, as I begin to flesh this should-be-obvious epiphany out, I begin with prayer. I’m asking God to show me who I am uniquely DESIGNED to be for my children. I’m also asking Him to show me who He has made my children to be. I am beginning to see that in our uniqueness lie our gifts. Those special gifts will make bringing Him glory a joy, though surely not without some trial. We, as believers, would all say that we know God has purpose in all things. So, there is a Sovereign design in pairing us with these tiny co-inheritors of His crown. I want to not take lightly the privilege it is to hold, love, dwell with, and raise these precious people. I want to obediently bring glory in this most important role in my life to our Creator.  So, through prayer, talking with my husband, and sharing life with our community of friends and church, I hope to begin to see what makes me unique. I want to dismiss the pressure to do exactly what someone else does, or better yet, the pressure of having my kids do exactly what someone else’s kids do.

Do I still need and benefit from “the village”? YES!!!! Definitely, YES! Do my children still need and benefit from them as well? Of course! Like I said in the beginning, I screw up daily! We need other examples and creative ideas and just simply put, each other. I just want to always remind myself that I cannot compare my family to the others as apples to apples. We are not that. We are unique. I can “work smarter” by learning from the many resources we have at our fingertips and in our relationships, but also by tweaking those ideas and advice to fit our family.  

So, my challenge to begin today is to SEEK the Lord and ask Him for guidance to know how I am uniquely created to mother Jon Loran, Evelyn, and Baby Boy on the way. What are their unique needs as well, since we know they differ even from each other? Then, I will LISTEN to Him as I pray, play with them, hold them, and even discipline them. I will not just copy a great idea (although I am certainly not counting recipes in this because I cannot tweak a recipe without making a disaster), but I will find out how it works for us in all areas of play, teaching, discipline, etc. May we gain the confidence IN CHRIST to be who He has made us to be!

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV

Jon Loran's Birthday Interview

In hopes of continuing this interview every year, I'm posting my birthday interview with Jon Loran at 3 years old. He has so many wonderful qualities. He is a joy to be around, has never met a stranger, wants to know everything going on around him, gets extremely excited about anything you are excited about and anything with the adjective "special" in front of it, and so darn cute (but I'm not biased)! He is so quick and eager to learn anything and everything we are ready to share with him. He is a typical (now) 3 year old in terms of wanting things his own way, independence, and learning how to share with friends ;), but being our first born, we are learning to do the best we can to teach him and walk WITH him through life's journey. Seeing the world through his eyes is making us see our Father and Creator with new eyes as well, and for that and all of the above, we are eternally grateful! We love our 3 year old!

What’s your favorite color? Green

What’s your favorite toy? Truck

What’s your favorite fruit?  Hmm, salad?

What’s your favorite TV show? Lion King, The Wiggles, Mickey’s Clubhouse

What’s your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Sandwich

What’s your favorite outfit? Cowboy (?? He’s never dressed like this before! Ha!)

What’s your favorite game? Puzzles

What’s your favorite snack? Fruit

What’s your favorite animal? Horse

What’s your favorite song? Twinkle, Twinkle

What’s your favorite book? Bunny (?) (I promise, we do read lots of books!)

Who’s your best friend? Madeleine

What’s your favorite cereal? Special K

What’s your favorite thing to do outside? Slide

What’s your favorite drink? Milk & Water

What’s your favorite holiday? Halloween (he had NO idea!)

What do you like to take to bed with you at night? My paci and my blankies (Oh please may this interview a year from now NOT have the same answer!)

What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Cereal

What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Chicken

What do you want to be when you grow up? A wife--oops! (He learned this summer about husbands and wives after talking to Jason about our wedding picture. He was told he could have a wife when he grew up, but this information has gotten slightly mixed up! J)

Sleepless in Knoxville

I completely expected a lack of sleep having a new baby. However, what I did not expect was having my 2 year old who has been sleeping through the night for a long time (aside from occasional bad nights with sickness) to begin having bad nights. The night I went to the hospital to be monitored and receive extra fluids before delivering Evelyn was the night Jon Loran began waking up...screaming! Not once, not twice, but sometimes 5-6 times a night! It is so pitiful. At first, I wanted to discipline him when I was home from the hospital and he kicked and screamed at me when I went in there. His eyes were open, he was looking at me, but he was not fully awake. Then, I learned about "night terrors". They are brought on with stress and other factors. So, mommy going away to have a baby and having other people come stay with us, and when mommy used to tuck me in and now it is daddy, all have added to his stress.
Now, 7 weeks later, he is still waking up frequently, but it is getting to be less terrorizing and more just habitual but with some fear. We've learned that putting him in our bed is the best answer if we want sleep. Dear Evelyn is learning to sleep for slightly longer stretches at night (4 hours or so), but poor Jon Loran is only going 2 hrs or so if in his own bed. Jason and I have resolved to be a comfort to him through this awful stage and always start him in his bed, but if it is a bad night, we bring him into ours. I always have striven for independent sleepers, but there is something precious about your little one snuggling up next to you. Don't get me wrong, I love my space in my bed and want it back soon. But, there is some sweetness to this harsh sleepless stage.
This blog is dedicated to blessings amidst trials or whatever life circumstances. So...my question has been, "What is God doing in our lives in this trial?" Answer? I don't know yet. We are not promised to know exactly everything He is up to. But, we do know that Romans 8:28 says "All things work together for the good of those who are called according to His purpose." So, it is for my good. It certainly has revealed some middle-of-the-night characteristics about myself I don't particularly love that often, when a lack of sleep takes over carries into my day.
So, maybe Lesson 1 is that I cannot parent on my own strength! I am learning to prayerfully go about my days (and nights) and ask the Lord for His help. Parenting is NOT easy and I knew it as a working mom, and now know it even more as I spend 24/7 with my babies. I am blessed with these babies and blessed with a husband who teams up with me on these crazy nights. But, if we rely on our own strength to be great parents and have great responses to these trials, we are sunk and our kids will reap that harvest (or lack thereof) unfortunately. So, may "His power be made perfect in our weaknesses".

Blessing #1: Evelyn's cozy naptime :). 

Blessing #2: Jon Loran waking up cheerfully from a good nap!

Lord Jesus, bring sweet peace to this home, especially to precious Jon Loran's nights.