I am not a writer and this blog hasn’t been touched in a
long while. I’m mostly a digital memory maker through pictures on Facebook or
Instagram these days. But, today
The Lord laid something on my heart pretty heavily. This isn’t even the first
time. So, as I write, I’m going to be attempting to clearly communicate one of
my biggest epiphanies on motherhood, or parenting really, as this most
certainly applies to fathers as well. Even though you may know and live this
already, I do believe it will also encourage you, the few of you who may read
this, to take a deeper look into who you are made to be as a parent as well.
Books, blogs, Pinterest, online forums, Facebook groups,
friends, family, just name it, and I’ve consulted it on parenting. Did you
notice what I didn’t list? God’s Word! Prayer! Yes, I pray for my kids and even
my parenting. Yes, I read His Word, although not regularly enough lately. But, I
most often run to the quickest answers. However, by His grace, He is still
drawing me in and calling me to seek Him.
I’ve been staying at home with my 3.5 year old and 1.5 year
old for a year and a half now. It’s been a roller coaster of joy and
frustration for me. The main reason for these ups and downs has been my own
struggles and a huge process we call sanctification! Let’s just say I’ve
screwed up a few (more like every single) days. I want to say that those above
listed references have been wonderful in giving me great guidance. I’ve
received great advice on discipline, creative play, and developmental
milestones, helping my babies sleep, eat right, etc.
I even used things like that as well while I taught for 10
years. We often would say, “work smarter, not harder”. So, when someone had
already made or invented a great resource for us to use in our own classroom,
we copied it! Duh! That’s easy! But, I can remember it not always working out
just the way I had expected or not the way the original person described.
WHY? What’s wrong with me that I
couldn’t get my class to do just the same thing? And now, what’s wrong with me
that those fabulous independent play ideas on Pinterest don’t immediately
engage my children the same way?
I’ll finally insert my epiphany here: WE ARE UNIQUELY CREATED!!!! My children are not the same as my
sister’s or my best friend’s or even ME! I am not the same parent as my sister,
my best friends, or even my own incredible mother. My needs and gifts are
different, as are my children’s.
Now what? Well, as I begin to flesh this should-be-obvious
epiphany out, I begin with prayer. I’m asking God to show me who I am uniquely DESIGNED
to be for my children. I’m also asking Him to show me who He has made my
children to be. I am beginning to see that in our uniqueness lie our gifts.
Those special gifts will make bringing Him glory a joy, though surely not
without some trial. We, as believers, would all say that we know God has
purpose in all things. So, there is a Sovereign design in pairing us with these
tiny co-inheritors of His crown. I want to not take lightly the privilege it is
to hold, love, dwell with, and raise these precious people. I want to
obediently bring glory in this most important role in my life to our Creator. So, through prayer, talking with my
husband, and sharing life with our community of friends and church, I hope to
begin to see what makes me unique. I want to dismiss the pressure to do
exactly what someone else does, or better yet, the pressure of having my kids
do exactly what someone else’s kids do.
Do I still need and benefit from “the village”? YES!!!!
Definitely, YES! Do my children still need and benefit from them as well? Of
course! Like I said in the beginning, I screw up daily! We need other examples
and creative ideas and just simply put, each other. I just want to always
remind myself that I cannot compare my family to the others as apples to
apples. We are not that. We are unique. I can “work smarter” by learning from
the many resources we have at our fingertips and in our relationships, but also
by tweaking those ideas and advice to fit
our family.
So, my challenge to begin today is to SEEK
the Lord and ask Him for guidance to know how I am uniquely created to mother
Jon Loran, Evelyn, and Baby Boy on the way. What are their unique needs as
well, since we know they differ even from each other? Then, I will LISTEN to Him as I pray, play with
them, hold them, and even discipline them. I will not just copy a great idea
(although I am certainly not counting recipes in this because I cannot tweak a
recipe without making a disaster), but I will find out how it works for us in
all areas of play, teaching, discipline, etc. May we gain the confidence IN CHRIST to be who He has made us to be!
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s
womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your
works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV
